My Weight Loss Story, Part One: The moment I started ‘having issues’ with my body

I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts for almost a year now. I’ve been coming up with excuses not to post it from ‘I’ll post it when I’ve finished my journey’ and ‘I can’t post it yet, it’s not the right time of year’ to ‘this is garbage, I will never post it’. I’ve decided to bite the bullet and go for it (and close my eyes really tight and hope for the best).

I’ve referenced my on-going weight loss and self-love journey in a few posts but I’ve never actually sat down and written about it. So I’m going to. It’s a break from the normal bookish and occasional creative posts and I wouldn’t be offended if you skip it, but it’s an important post to write.

It’s important for two reasons: 1) so that I can look back at it and see how far I’ve come, I would like to have a record of it and 2) because things like this should be talked about. So many people struggle with body-image and weight and eating, the more stories that are out there, the more people they can possibly help.

On that note, I am going to include a TRIGGER WARNINGThis post will talk about body-imageself-love, and eating habits. If reading about these things affects you, please don’t read on. Out of courtesy for those who might be triggered by my story, all of my journey posts will continue under a cut.

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2017: Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions are tricky beasts. They often don’t do quite what we tell them to. But make them, we do and this year I am no exception.

I’ve set myself a few, they’re all do-able and there is no reason why I shouldn’t have completed them by the end of the year. However, as is evident by this blog and the sporadic nature of its updates last year, life happens. I won’t beat myself up if I don’t achieve my goals but I’m going to give it a jolly good try.

I have seven resolutions this year. Seven.


Read more. I read 18 books last year, which is terrible considering I read so quickly and I love reading so much – I blame Netflix and no longer having to commute. My plan is to top that this year, I am going to try for a book a week, which is a considerable feat but perhaps a necessary one. I have a to-read pile which is probably bigger than me and keeps growing because I have no self control in the books department. Absolutely none.

Write more. I don’t write even nearly as much as I should, be it blogs or stories or poems or drabbles. I went to university for three whole years to hone my writing abilities and I am doing absolutely nothing with it. I am going to attempt to change that this year. Starting now. Or rather, a few days ago when I wrote my last blog entry.

I will find excuses to write, and I will try not to pen myself in because that’s when I tend to get stuck. Leading on to the next resolution…

Update the bloomin’ blog.  I’m doing pretty well at this so far. I posted January 4th, then there’s this post, I have a book review in the making for something I read at the end of December (and the books I didn’t review but read last year), I have the next Harry Potter post on the go and will start number six after that, I have some wedding photography I would love to share, as well as a special shoot that hasn’t happened yet but will have happened by the time this post goes live (hooray for scheduling!). That’s a good lot to go on. Let’s just hope I don’t get lazy. Again.

15697559_10154914790763628_313091042453802651_nHit target. This is Slimming World specific. I am about half way on my weight loss journey (undertaken over the last five months). If I can make it to half way in five months, I can make the rest of the way in a year. I’m tentatively hoping to be at target some time in May. We shall see.

It shouldn’t be  too hard in the grand scheme of things. I love the plan, I love the food and I am already doing really well! I’ve wanted to be my smaller self for so long now that I am  going  to make it happen this year.

15780765_10154914790743628_2898177299689124980_nMaintain target. Now, this one relies on the success of the last one. So wish me luck.

I know that maintaining is going to be the hard part. I will be so used to losing weight that it will be hard to come out of that. I have faith though, I managed to accidentally maintain a few weeks ago and I know exactly how I did it. Let’s hope I remember that once I hit target.

Plus, I have the support of everyone around me. It’s been so heartwarming to see how everyone else has gotten excited for my losses and have cheered me on, or helped me stay on plan. I am so thankful.

Take more photos.  I mean this in both a life sense and a photography sense. When I put on weight my drive to take and be in photos plummeted. I photographed three weddings last year and they brought me so much happiness. I would like to continue that happiness. I want to create again and I want to document my life more than I have been of late. Expect a lot of instagram activity.

And finally, if something stops bringing joy, stop doing it – don’t feel guilty. Last year, I tried to draw every day. It started out really well and it was really fulfilling but then life got busier, I started a new job and my life changed. I was leaving my drawings until just before bed and I wasn’t happy with any of them. One day, I skipped drawing because I was tired. I told myself I was going to catch up, and I told others, but I realised I didn’t want to. I needed a break. So I took one.

I do intend to draw a lot more than I have previous years but forcing myself to do it once a day even when I have no ideas hampered my creativity and stopped being fun. So I’m resolving not to do that again, not to cling onto something for longer than I should just because I said I was going to. If it stops making me happy or excited or having a positive impact on my life, I am going to stop doing it. I’m not going to feel guilty about it.

Well, there you have it. My resolutions. I will come back to this next year and see if I’ve achieved them. Wish me luck!